Following
on from Scott’s own words I’d like to say a few things about him from my own
perspective.
Nearly
ten years ago, I asked Scott to be best man at my wedding. Then about a year
later, Scott asked me to do the same thing for him – I think his exact words,
by text, were that he wanted me to return a favour. I was obviously honoured to
be asked, and although I was very nervous about making the speech, really the
whole experience was a pleasure. When Scott rang me just 6 months ago me to tell me about his
cancer diagnosis, and asked me then if I would make a speech at his funeral, I
was shocked and devastated, but my next thoughts were that at least it might
not be for a number of years, that somehow he might beat it and be around for a
lot longer. Horribly that has not turned out to be the case and so here I am,
making a speech about my best friend which I would give anything not to have to
do.
Let
me take you back 23 years to 1991, when we both started at university at Queens’
college, Cambridge. Like him, I was very nervous about what it would be like,
what kind of people I would meet, and if I would fit in. Scott was the first
person I met, and as I remember it, I was impressed by his long hair, and
thought he looked cool, seemed friendly, and immediately helped me to start to
feel like I might actually enjoy it there. His recollection of our meeting was
slightly different – he remembered that I was too daft to figure out how to
lock my door and wondered what on earth I was doing there! Nevertheless we
became great friends immediately and remained so ever since.
At
college Scott had a great many friends – he always seemed to know more people
than anyone else, both from our college and others - and made a big impact on
college life, appearing on the front cover of the college magazine and many times in the gossip pages. Scott was the best person to while away an afternoon
in the pub with, he was one of the world’s great conversationalists, both a
great talker and a listener, and there would never be a lull, we’d never run
out of things to talk about, 99% of them utter nonsense.
However
one big aspect of Scott’s personality showed through early in those days – his
strong sense of knowing his own mind and what he wanted to do. Many of us were
very keen drinkers and carousers and although as he said himself in the words I’ve
just read Scott hardly seemed happier than when in a pub or a bar, playing
pinball, chatting about everything and nothing, and generally hanging out, he
would always leave first and no amount of wheedling or persuasion would make
him change his mind. This was always the case throughout the time I knew him –
without being selfish, he did what he wanted to do and wouldn’t be changed from
that course. In many ways that made the time that he spent with you more of a
privilege, because you always knew he wouldn’t do it simply out of politeness.
Despite
the many happy hours in the college bar, he managed a very good degree in law
and landed a trainee place at Herbert Smith. He spent a year in York doing the
legal practice course, making many more new friends in the process, before
moving to London to join Herbert Smith. However despite this being one of the
top law firms in the country, and what he had been aiming to achieve for years,
that strength of character showed again as he pretty quickly decided he wouldn’t
be happy if he stayed, so he quit law completely and joined a recruitment
consultancy.
During
this period he and I lived together again in Belsize Park in London, along with
Tim and Mike from Queens’. Another of Scott’s very noticeable character traits
was his love of humour and a good catchphrase, and it seemed like many of his
favourites were coined or appropriated around this period. As a bunch of lads
living together we spent a lot of time playing computer games, especially Mario
Kart, and Scott was always proposing “a spot of frappé” or a “spot of Bond”. He
also had many drinking related catchphrases – “pop a half in”, for when he wanted to slow down to avoid the pale face
at the end of the night – “not hurting
anyone” – as in “shall we have another pint?” “why not, we’re not hurting
anyone are we?” – and one which started with Andy but Scott latched onto
with great gusto - “it’s a small place but we’ll all be welcome”.
There
are places in the world that for me will always have an indelible connection
with Scott, for example the Fitzroy Tavern near Goodge Street in London, which
became a default meeting point for nights out in Soho, or Taylor’s, just off
Soho Square, again the start of many great nights, and chosen by Scott for the
proximity to his recruitment consultancy office. However another place is more
a general class of place – the mountains – because it was around this time when
we went on our very first snowboarding holiday together, along with Rupert and
my then-girlfriend Kath, now my wife. Kath had been skiing many times whereas
Scott, Rupert and I were all total newbie idiots, but the fun of learning a
difficult new skill relatively late in life, combined with a good amount of
hanging around in pubs meant that we were all hooked. Since then we have had a
number of amazing holidays together and Scott also spent many happy weeks with
Hayley in Leysin, kindly put up by Hayley’s godparents in their chalet. I was
lucky enough to go to that same place with Scott in March last year for what
turned out to be Scott’s last snowboarding trip. We planned it at quite short
notice, and I remember very vividly him saying a couple of times on the trip
that you have to take your chances when they come along. At the time it seemed
true enough as we were having a great time and had nearly not got it all
arranged, but now it seems incredibly prophetic, and terribly important, as he
said in his words which I just read out.
I
mentioned Scott’s sense of humour just now. Scott was a funny man. He loved a joke, many of you will remember his
favourite joke about a pianist, obviously not suitable for polite company and
definitely not suitable for a church. Thinking over my memories of Scott, so
many of them involve laughter. Scott with his glasses askew, Eric Morecambe-style,
or with his arms folded, faux-curmudgeonly, disapproving of one thing or
another, or repeating one of his favourite catchphrases.
Having
moved out of the flat in Belsize Park and lived in Stratford for a while, Scott
then made another momentous life changing decision which seemed crazy at the
time but in retrospect lead to the happiest phase of his life of all. This was
the decision to quit the recruitment job, which he never liked, and to leave
London to go to Bournemouth to join the Chase Manhattan (as it was then) graduate
IT training scheme, again making more great friends with others in the same
intake and throughout the bank generally. He lived again in another crazy
shared house with Kal, Pete, Simon and John, then got his own flat, and via the
pursuits club crossed paths with Hayley. Luckily for him she had joined to try
to meet some new friends and they hit it off and quickly became an item.
Scott
loved life in Bournemouth – the coast and outdoor life seemed to suit him much
better than London. He was able to go climbing and play football regularly –
and he and Hayley enjoyed many travelling adventures together before settling
down to start a family. In fact Hayley tells me that it was just after
surviving the encounter with a tsunami on holiday in Thailand when she first
suspected Scott might be planning to propose to her. He immediately started
planning a luxurious trip to Barcelona, where they stayed in a beautiful hotel,
went to the top of the cathedral, had fancy meals and did many romantic things
which would have been perfect opportunities for a proposal. However it didn’t
happen then – it was in fact a number of months later when he finally popped
the question, while sitting in his favourite comfy chair in the flat, with Eastenders
on TV.
After marrying his favourite
bear in 2006, he and Hayley were then overjoyed at the birth of Samuel in
November 2008 and again when Maisie was born December in 2010. Scott loved kids and
was brilliant as a dad and so proud of Samuel and Maisie. However things didn’t
always go as smoothly as Scott might have hoped – Hayley tells me of one time
when Samuel was being weaned and she left Scott in change of feeding him. When
she came back she found the room covered in the green spinach puree Samuel was
supposed to be eating, and Scott stripped down to his boxer shorts, obviously
with everything completely under control! Or another occasion when they visited
Longleat safari park and Scott took Samuel into the toilets – and from outside
Hayley heard a huge shout of pain and surprise, which turned out to be due to
Samuel pulling the disabled rail off the wall and onto Scott’s head.
Despite
these occasional mishaps, Scott was clearly as happy with his lot as he’d ever
been, with the perfect wife, family, job and lifestyle. After a variety of
careers and places to live he’d finally found the ideal things to suit him – he
had grabbed his chances and things looked all set. Sadly however the happiness
was not to last long enough and in July last year he was diagnosed with the
lung cancer which was to prove fatal.
As
a scientist I try to take some comfort from a few amazing thoughts. One is that
every heavy atom of every molecule that makes up the planets of the solar
system, the earth and every living thing on it, and all the cells and fibres of
Scott’s body – all of these atoms were fused in the heart of a star billions of
years ago before coming together to make everything we see around us. These
atoms are now permanent and can’t be lost or destroyed, and in fact over the
years to come, many of the 1200 trillion trillion water molecules which were
once part of Scott will become part of each one of us here.
Another
thought is that all the photons of light that ever bounced off Scott’s face,
all the particles whose paths were interrupted by his smile, or his funny faces,
all those hundreds of trillions of particles, have raced off like children,
their ways forever changed by him. Some of those particles found their way into
our eyes, and from there went on to create constellations of
electromagnetically charged neurons whose energy will go on and on in the form
of our memories.
Those
thoughts don't really make it any better that he has
gone. Scott, we will all miss you but I’m sure we will never forget you, and
our thoughts are with Hayley, and the children, and Scott’s parents and
brothers and family.
But
he always was the first to leave the pub and I suppose you can't change the
habits of a lifetime.
